life is beautiful.

weddings

2009-12-20T01:00:00.000-08:00

watching him take her hand,

promising an eternity of hope,

that even when things get rough,

he will hold her hand,

watching her holding on to him,

promising an eternity of love,

that even when things get hard,

she will be there right beside him.

watching him and her,

promising an eternity of happiness,

that no matter what happens,

HE will be the rock they build their lives on.....

charlie chaplin's smile :)

2009-07-09T09:11:00.000-07:00

Smile

though your heart is aching

smile

even though it's breaking

when there are clouds in the sky

you'll get by

if you

smile through your fear and sorrow

smile and maybe tomorrow

you'll see the sun come shining thru for you.

Light up your face with gladness

hide every trace of sadness

although a tear maybe ever so near

that's the time you must keep on trying

smile

what's the use of crying

you'll find that life is stillworth while

if you'll just smile.

maya angelou's poem a tribute to michael.....WE HAD HIM

2009-07-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

we had him

Beloveds, now we know that we know nothing, now that our bright and shining star can slip away from our fingertips like a puff of summer wind.

Without notice, our dear love can escape our doting embrace. Sing our songs among the stars and walk our dances across the face of the moon.

In the instant that Michael is gone, we know nothing. No clocks can tell time. No oceans can rush our tides with the abrupt absence of our treasure.

Though we are many, each of us is achingly alone, piercingly alone.

Only when we confess our confusion can we remember that he was a gift to us and we did have him.

He came to us from the creator, trailing creativity in abundance.

Despite the anguish, his life was sheathed in mother love, family love, and survived and did more than that.

He thrived with passion and compassion, humor and style. We had him whether we know who he was or did not know, he was ours and we were his.

We had him, beautiful, delighting our eyes.

His hat, aslant over his brow, and took a pose on his toes for all of us.

And we laughed and stomped our feet for him.

We were enchanted with his passion because he held nothing. He gave us all he had been given.

Today in Tokyo, beneath the Eiffel Tower, in Ghana's Black Star Square.

In Johannesburg and Pittsburgh, in Birmingham, Alabama, and Birmingham, England

We are missing Michael.

But we do know we had him, and we are the world.

i remember

2009-06-24T08:41:00.000-07:00

I can’t remember the words you said,

I remember how it made me feel that day,

I remember you holding my hand,

I remember you making plans,

I remember your smile,

I remember I thought that smile could make me fly,

I remember dancing in the rain,

I remember all the names,

I remember every touch,

I remember every laugh,

I remember every tear u caused,

I remember the silence of your goodbye,

I remember walking away,

I remember thinking that I will never be the same,

I remember falling apart,

I remember my silent broken heart,

I remember the love from my soul mates,

I remember awakening from my slumber,

I remember noticing the abundance of love that surrounds me,

I remember knowing that no matter what love conquers all,

I remember feeling loved when we all laugh together over nothing in particular,

I remember thinking I don’t have to find a special someone to feel like this,

I remember flying without wings in the company of my tribe,

I remember that life is both the sad moments and the happy ones,

I remember that I am loved………………

june

2009-06-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

June is the month named after the Roman goddess, Juno whom is the goddess of marriage, so some consider it good luck to be married in this month.

oh this would explain so much....with all d weddings to attend..n apparently im at that age when every1 around me is gettin hitched...d old ball n chain r watever.. :P

im thrilled that they seem to be happy...n convinced that this is what they want..sigh...seriously...i do not get it..

i get the i dont want to be alone...

but i do not kno marriages that well are happy or at least ok...

i kno marriages that dont last...r ones that r 4 convienience(did i get that rite :P)..ones that are silent (ie:do not speak to one another)...ones where they sty 'for the children' albeit the kids are older and married wt kids of their own....but a happy marriage i figure is a myth...stuff for fiction,movies,songs and day dreams...

find me a happy marriage pls...b4 i become the cynical old hag...who lives wt her cats n scares them lil children away... :P

2009-05-04T03:00:00.000-07:00

Looking up at the light blue sky,
Fluffy white cotton clouds sailing away,
Little kite surfing with the wind,
Flying high in the blue along with her sisters,
Oh how she would love to soar above the cloudy sky,
Into the heavens....

christmas

2008-12-22T02:18:00.001-08:00

twilight

2008-11-26T05:10:00.001-08:00

forgiveness

2008-10-16T23:07:00.000-07:00

i've gotta let go,

of all the baggage i carry,

the weight of the past,

lies heavy on my shoulders,

my ankle chained to the manacle,

dragging me down,

to the depths of the ocean.

forgiving myself,

and breaking free,

of all that i hold close to me,

finally im soaring high,

on the wings of a butterfly :)

love is....

2008-09-28T06:09:00.000-07:00

love is when you look at me that way,

when there a thousand people in the room and you just see me,

its when you rub my feet after work,its when i hug you after a tiring day,

its when we talk about nothing in particular,

its when you make me smile,

its when our hands hold on to each other,

its when i miss you the moment your not around,

its when we laugh over everythin....

love is YOU!!!!

freedom writers

2008-09-26T00:16:00.000-07:00

feels as though the whole prejudice issue is being forced down my throat....n its made me look inward n i realise i do it everyday, when i make a remark bout d check out lady being slow coz of her race...well there are loads more of those........
and thanks to movies like freedom writers and Oprah's show on the challenge day...makes me wanna go all martin Luther king.... :P

The English word "freedom" comes from an indo-european root that means "to love."

the movie freedom writers is about a bunch of kids of different minority races who hate each other because of the colour of their skin, they make fun of each other pick at each other are really cruel and blame the other for the way life has treated them, along comes this white middle class teacher who has never known what it is to live where these kids live and she is moved to change their lives.the movie shows how amazing the gift of love is,this white lady could have just let it go like everyone else,instead she changed their lives in spite of everything, she taught them that this racism thing has bin going on since before, from the days of hitler and his desire to wipe out the entire jewish race , from the time of the apartheid still goin on in africa to the days of martin luther king in fact if you look around you its happening everyday, people treat you differently based on the colour of your skin.most of the time racism is based on ignorence and the fear of something different the fear of change. but if you think about it the same god created all of us and beneath our skins we're all the same colour.

the challenge day on the oprah show was about this couple and their idea of bridging the gap between the students and eradicating a disease so rampant today...loneliness........ever been in a room filled with people and still feel lonely..yea...we've all been there..

this activity they did made everyone open up and drop d fascade they carried everyday, it was amazing to watch so many different people show so much love and affection to others who have hurt them in some way.

the world would be a better place if we all just loved unconditionally....how simple it sounds how hard to accomplish...

a part of my favourite speech from dr martin luther king jr (i have a dream 1963)

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state, sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring." And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania! Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado! Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California! But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia! Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee! Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

friends are d choc in them cookies of life

2008-09-13T21:13:00.000-07:00

i love you bud, for making me smile on days i dont feel lk smiling, for makin me laugh everytime we hang together, for makin me feel lk i can climb every mountain, for making me feel so loved, for forgiving me every time i screw up, for loving me for my insaness no one other than you guys could possibly love me for it, for always being there for me in every way, for being true , for being honest even when it hurt, for never letting me go into the dark night, for holding my hand thru d worst times of my life, for never letting go of me, for being my rock, i thank god every day that you all are a part of my life...................love you all so very much you guys truly are gods angels..:)

(dedicated to karuna, karunya you guys are my buds n sisters n i love you to lil bits n pieces,im so glad god made u my sisters n i feel honoured tat u consider me yours :))

(also to carol,bheesh,bee,maya n san i swear u r gods angels n thank you for loving me so much)

loving again...

2008-09-01T21:20:00.000-07:00

ive felt this way before,
long ago,
didnt think i could love again,

thank you for reminding me i am capable of loving,

even though you dont feel the same,

thank you anyway,

for letting me love you.

ola

2007-12-04T21:06:00.000-08:00

i know its been awhile,

its coz ive lost my mind,

im trying to sort my life out,

d childhood scars its time to heal,

to let go of everything,

to just be me,

the best me i can be,

i know i cant do this alone

gods holding my hand

as we take this walk together,

i know i see the light at the end.

:)

2007-08-31T02:51:00.000-07:00

tagged by karuna and san san
1) Each player must post these rules first.
2) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3) People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5) Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

8 random facts about muah..

1)i read endings of books before buying them

2)i read in the loo

3)i dance in my room when no ones watching (until one or both of my sisters barge in)

4)i write poetry when im feeling blue

5)i love steak(im a meat person)

6)im a fan of the spice girls (yeah its sad i know)

7)tattoos are works of art to me

8)i love the ocean its almost spiritual

i tag
nisha
karunya
stephanie

2007-08-01T21:39:00.000-07:00

they say time heals everthing but im still waiting

mistake

2007-07-23T04:41:00.000-07:00

i am the mistake

people in my life that mean the world to me

2007-07-10T07:14:00.000-07:00

san san and me

me and carol

me and karuna

me n my lil sis

fairytale

2007-07-04T03:52:00.000-07:00

streetlights flickering,

moonlight so bright,

music in the air tonight,

transforming cinderella,

throwing caution to the wind,

broken fairytale forgotten,

living for the moment,

masquerading princess,

how long will it last,

its past 12,

pumpkin and mice,

prince charming left behind,

fairytales not for the faint hearted,

reality bites harder i fear.

shattered glass

2007-06-13T01:16:00.000-07:00

my heart is like shattered glass,

put together by the weakest glue,

breaking down everytime i hear a hurtful word,

a sinister smile laughter behind my back,

wanting to end it all,

knowing that i should fight somehow,

will it ever end,

may be someday the sun will shine brightly again.

all alone

2007-06-10T01:37:00.000-07:00

im all alone,
in a room filled with people,
im sick and tired,
of the lies i tell,
will life ever become easy,
is it going to change,
am i going to be to late,
oh how ive missed the person i once was
a happier version
seems as though ive lost my way
drowining in the rain
suffocating with the drops
come back my darlin me

random ramblings

2007-05-30T00:39:00.000-07:00

my silent screams that only i hear,

my silent cries that god only knows why,

the feeling of not being worthy and loved,

even when you say you love me,

why oh why,

am i still me,

when will i change,

let it go,

when will my world become what i know it can be,

why all the drama and pain,

why is it the only way to learn,

is when love and hate collide,

i am what i am,

im constantly learning...

to my crush i hope someday i have the courage to tell you how i feel

2007-05-22T01:00:00.000-07:00

his eyes a lighter shade of brown,

as the sunlight shines they shimmer,

like sparkling diamonds.

his smile so sweet,

from ear to ear,

each time she's near.

his voice so deep and husky,

i hear them in my day dreams,

telling me he loves me.

his embrace so warm and inviting,

someday i'll hug him,

and i'll never let go.

i need a life

2007-05-21T01:10:00.000-07:00

i need a life,

mine's filled with strife,

want to run away,

to an ocean somewhere.

lay down in the sand,

may be get a tan,

learn how to dive,

hopefully with a cute guy.

dancing like im about to take flight,

having a good time,

out drinking with friends,

on a cold,cold night.

living with a secret

2007-05-21T01:02:00.000-07:00

living with a secret,

living in regret,

with all the things,

im trying so hard to forget.

looking for peace,

in the arms of my saviour,

trying do hard,

to let go of the past.

though it haunts me,

day and night,

creeping into my mind,

like a soft lullaby.

help me to see,

the beauty in life everyday,

with every hug you give,

and love in every way.

was in a dark place

2007-05-15T01:27:00.000-07:00

i was in a dark place,

where the shadows had names,

my friend was a tear stained pillow,

and comfort was found in crying.

shunning the world away,

turning away from love,

my life,

my sadness.

a ray of hope,

flickering in the night,

a tiny candle,

lighting up my life.

reflection of mistakes past,

forgiveness in my heart at long last,

allowing healing to seep thru,

my soul is at ease now.

ready to stand,

and take flight,

goodbye,

dark gloomy night.

screaming silence

2007-05-14T06:20:00.000-07:00

screaming silence,

stuck with no way out,

people around me whispering,

of things they know not about.

a bulls eye shot,

of my self worth,

left with nothing,

feeling like dirt.

a friendly smile,

a loving hug,

making my day,

reminding me of His love.

hope has found me

2007-05-10T06:16:00.000-07:00

hope has found me,

in its everlasting beauty,

ive been set free,

from my self made captivity.

i can spread my angels wings,

and break away it seems,

from the mundaness of my dreams,

and watch them come true.

life so fleeting

2007-05-07T01:53:00.000-07:00

life so fleeting and so short,

forgiveness found and love lost,

feelings abound of regret,

life's lesson i'll never forget.

heart breaking tears that hath no end,

everything that flys has to land,

trying to find its meaning,

in something so unnerving.

there is no room for hate,

everything is a little too late,

my life in the hands of fate,

while you wait smiling at the eternal gates.

forever grateful

2007-05-02T07:18:00.000-07:00

forever grateful merciful father,

for thy heavenly grace,

bestowing your undeserving child,

with your immeasurable,unfathomable,irrevocable love.

like the cherry blossoms

2007-05-02T06:58:00.000-07:00

like the cherry blossoms that bloom,

my love for you is full grown,

life like eternal springtime,

constantly smiling as the days go by.

heaven is less an angel

2007-04-26T19:03:00.000-07:00

Heaven is less an angel,
Because you were sent to protect me,
The night sky is less a constellation,
Because you are here to shine into my life.

The ocean bed has less a coral,
Because you bring its uniqueness into my life,

Flowers have less fragrance,
Because you radiate it into my life.

Fun has less meaning,
Because I’m never bored when you are near,
Weather is less a season,
Because you bring its beauty into my life.

The world is less of love,
Because you love me,
Music is less a note,
Because my life has a melody that is you!

this drunken stupor

2007-04-26T02:40:00.000-07:00

This drunken stupor,
Numbs the pain,
Of my wasted life,
Of all the lies I tell myself,
For me to sleep at night.

I sing myself a lullaby,
That it will be alright,
That in the morning,
When I wake,
The sun will be shining bright.

My delusions of reality,
Addiction to this pain,
Guiding me thru,
Love’s a cruel game.

Doubting I will ever recover,
Seems as though,
I’m scarred forever,
And yet I hope I find my way
To that eternal slumber.

getting thru the day

2007-04-26T02:38:00.000-07:00

Getting thru the day,
Losing myself along the way,
Trying to find my place,
In this mindless rat race.

Reading between the lines,
Trying to find my way,
To end of the dark tunnel,
To grasp the light of day.

Struggling to break free,
Of weight holding me,
Keeping in the fire,

Trying hard not to surrender

snowflakes

2007-04-25T20:16:00.000-07:00

snowflakes falling gently,

kissing the ground softly,

a white blanket covering,

events of the night before.

allowing new imprints,

innocence and purity reflects,

as the snow continues its tasks,

reminding me how truly great thou art.

broken heart

2007-04-25T20:10:00.000-07:00

do i remember,

the sound of my heart breaking,

the earth shattering hollow of those words,

i dont love you anymore,

how it felt like the black hole had sucked me in,

the tears collecting in my eyes,

about to find their release,

wanting to run far far away,

from the gaze of the one i love,

the one who in one swoop broke the walls of alcatraz surrounding my heart,

also just a moment ago dropped an atomic bomb,

whose explosion left no survivors,

if loving someone makes me so vulnerable,

why do i still believe,

that love will someday rescue me?

thank you friend

2007-04-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

Thank you for laughter,
The joy you spread,
Thank you for hugs,
Washing away unhappiness,
Thank you for being true,
When it felt like the world was going to end.

Thank you for being honest,
It helped to grow,
Thank you for love,
For it will never go..

Some people you meet only for a while and yet when you leave,
The footprints they left on your life will for ever be there,
Thank you for everything friend,
Most of all thank you for being you.

between lovers and friends

2007-04-18T09:43:00.000-07:00

its not black or white,
its a shade of grey,
i know that eventually its gonna be ok,
its a lot like love,
between lovers and friends,
i'll hold your hand and not let my emotions take the upperhand,
hoping you find your bliss in whom ever's heart it is.

finger on the trigger

2007-04-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

Finger on the trigger,
Feelings of you flooding me,
Drowning in you,
Pulling the trigger as the tears flow,
Can’t stop it now,
As the projectile leaves its home,
I am reminded of mine,
A father so cold,
Mother the centre of my heart,
Sharp pain thru my head,
As the warm sticky liquid gushes,
Reminds me of that loving feeling,
That life was meant for the living,

And I am now among the departed

like the tremors that occur before the quake

2007-04-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

Like the tremors that occur before the quake,
That’s the course my life seems to take,
Waiting in trepidation for the inevitable to happen,
For the ground beneath my feet to cave in.

Send in the rescue team to save my soul,
It’s buried under rocks and stone,
Slowly gasping for air to breathe,
A little while longer and life is sucked out of me.

In the distance I hear a voice,
Softly calling out my name,
I try to claw my way,
But to no avail.

Giving up,
Hope fly's as swiftly as it came,
My life and love,
Obscured by all the pain.

waves crashing on the beach

2007-04-10T00:42:00.000-07:00

Waves crashing on the beach,
Reminding me how fragile life truly is,
Meaningful moments put together,
Makes my life matter.

Filled with friends who care,
Who love and cherish and are always there,
Ready to make me change,
Mould me into a better being.

calling all angels

2007-04-09T21:37:00.000-07:00

Calling all angels,
To rescue you,
From the depths of despair,
When you feel your world crumbling,
Lift your arms heavenward in prayer,
He loves you,
He’s given you the strength to go on,
Look around you; you are surrounded by love,
Your offspring always find their way home,
Your friends love you unconditionally,
The extended family god chose for you,
Always remember, if ever in doubt,
That he takes care of you,
Your whole life throughout.